Today, Amy Walls and Jag dive into why it feels like everyone around us has more money, more freedom, or more upgrades than we do — and why that perception is often just that: perception. Social media plays a huge role in this feeling. The constant exposure to curated highlight reels makes it easy to believe others are winning financially, while we’re falling behind. Amy points out that what we see online is rarely the whole picture. People share the new boat or vacation, not the credit card debt, parental help, or stress behind the scenes.
We also talk about how older stats around side hustles — like claims that 50% of people have them — still influence how we think today, despite more accurate 2025 data showing only 25% of adults actually have one. And affluence is often funded by invisible resources like family wealth or debt, which makes comparisons misleading and self-defeating.
Psychologically, we’re wired for social comparison, but our brains focus upward. We look at those doing better, rarely at those with less. That creates ever-shifting benchmarks for “enough,” raising the bar as others share their wins. On top of that, algorithms feed us more of what we engage with — usually success stories — which can skew our sense of what’s normal.
Amy walks us through the reality: the national savings rate is low (4–5%), emergency funds are thin (1 in 5 adults can’t handle a $100 surprise), and credit card debt is at an all-time high in 2025. Even those who look like they have it all together might be stretched thin.
Why does this all sting so much? Because we’ve tied our identity to our finances. Falling behind feels like failure. It hits at our self-worth and creates a stress loop: we feel behind, we spend to catch up, and that spending adds more stress. It’s emotional and financial burnout.
So how do we break the cycle? First, redefine goals based on our own needs. Track progress against your own goals — like building savings or reducing debt — not against someone else’s vacation photos. Curate your feeds to remove content that sparks comparison. Write down what “enough” looks like for you in terms of comfort, flexibility, and fun. Celebrate quiet wins like financial stability, and be cautious of lifestyle creep when your income rises.
Lastly, Amy reminds us to stay curious instead of competitive. Learn from others without turning it into a race. Real wealth and well-being come from clarity, control, and peace of mind — not what someone else posts online.
00:00 – Intro
00:35 – Why social media skews our perception
01:30 – Debt and side hustle myths
03:00 – Why we compare ourselves psychologically
04:50 – The illusion of success online
05:50 – What’s really going on financially nationwide
06:50 – Why it hurts to feel behind
07:40 – The emotional and financial cost of comparison
08:45 – How to reset your goals
09:40 – Avoiding lifestyle creep
10:25 – Final takeaways and closing
ThimbleberryU 147- Why It Feels Like Everyone Has More Money
Speakers: Jon Gay & Amy Walls
[Music Playing]
Jon Gay (00:08):
Welcome back to ThimbleberryU, I'm Jon Jag Gay. I'm joined as always by Amy Walls from Thimbleberry Financial. Hello, Amy.
Amy Walls (00:13):
Hi, Jag.
Jon Gay (00:14):
Have you ever scrolled through your feed and wondered how is everyone doing so well, you see it on whatever social media platform you're on: the vacations, the remodels, the “I just bought a boat” post. It can make you feel like you're falling behind.
Amy, let's talk about why we feel that way. What's really going on here? Why do we feel like everyone else has more money than we do?
Amy Walls (00:35):
First of all, Jag, I think everybody has probably felt this way if they are on social media. The fact of the matter is visibility has exploded as social media has become a big part of our lives, and we now see other people spending every single day. Not just neighbors like we did before, but thousands of online strangers who we know nothing about truly.
The other thing is these highlights are reels, not reality. People post about their upgrades and their wins, but they don't post generally about their debt or the stress behind that debt. Also, more recently, what I've seen a lot of posts about are side hustles.
And there's this illusion that there are these side hustles out there but the reality is (and this is from a 2025 Bankrate study) only 25% of adults have a side hustle. But older surveys claiming 50% had a side hustle still shape that perception.
Jon Gay (01:29):
That's really interesting, okay.
Amy Walls (01:33):
And then debt distortion. Many affluent lifestyles are funded by credit or family help, but that's invisible to you and I on the outside.
Jon Gay (01:45):
A couple follow-ups because this is top of mind for me because I just was in Las Vegas this weekend for boys’ trip with my in-laws. So, posting your highlights, not your reality on social media. I posted watching a baseball game outside a piano bar while the dueling piano bars were covering Britney Spears and I'm like, “Only in Vegas, this is amazing.”
I posted a concert I went to. I did not post that I was at the craps table and up $50 and all of a sudden down $50, I only posted the fun stuff. I didn't post the, “Man, I was waiting forever for an Uber”. So, the only posting the good things is true.
And then oddly enough, I was in an Uber headed back to my hotel, and the Uber driver was telling me the story of picking up these 20 something year old kids and this insanely rich condo complex, and this lifestyle they had and all they were talking about is money and hedge funds or whatever it was, and it was obvious that they had Mom and Dad's money.
And so, a lot of these things, “Oh look at us, look at this great life we're living out on the yacht,” well, they're not posting the hard stuff, they're not posting the fact that they put it on the credit card to your point, or that Mom and Dad helped them. So, it's really not apples to apples when you're comparing it to your normal life.
Amy Walls (02:58):
We don't know what we don't know, but it's so easy to tell ourselves a story that we've completely made up.
Jon Gay (03:06):
(Laughs) So true. So, what's happening psychologically to us when we compare ourselves to what we're seeing online?
Amy Walls (03:12):
Well, we have social comparison wiring. We're wired to compare to others. We naturally evaluate ourselves by looking sideways. We also have an upward focus. We tend to notice people who seem better off than us, rather than those that have less than us. It's kind of like when someone wants the next position at work, they're looking to those people, not the people below them as to what they want to achieve.
There's also moving benchmarks. As peers post more success, our ideas of what I'll call “enough” keep rising. Because when we're exposed to that, if we're constantly looking up and we're seeing people accomplish these things, well, then the expectations of what I should have (“should” I think is a good word to here) changes, it increases.
Jon Gay (04:08):
Keeping up with the Joneses.
Amy Walls (04:10):
Absolutely. And then we all know about the algorithms on social media, they have an effect. The social media feeds amplify the things we look at the most. So, luxury and achievement, training our brains to think what we're seeing is normal is how that works.
Jon Gay (04:29):
We're going to like somebody posting a big win as opposed to, I don't know, say some sort of sob story.
Amy Walls (04:34):
Absolutely.
Jon Gay (04:36):
And as we're kind of alluding to with Keeping Up with the Joneses, it makes satisfaction this moving target even if our circumstances haven't changed. So, what's the reality behind all these appearances we're seeing?
Amy Walls (04:47):
Well, first of all, let's look at savings rates. Savings remains low nationwide. The national savings rate is 4 to 5%, that's actually half of its historical average.
Jon Gay (04:59):
When you say 4 to 5%, that's 4 to 5% of what people are taking in?
Amy Walls (05:03):
Of salary that's being saved.
Jon Gay (05:04):
Okay. Yep.
Amy Walls (05:05):
Yep. People have small or thin emergency buffers, about one in five adults could not cover a $100 surprise bill.
Jon Gay (05:14):
Wow. I've heard that a lot of folks can't cover a $500 surprise car repair, but $100, that's 20%, that's wild.
Amy Walls (05:23):
I mean, I know we're talking about social media, but I can't tell you how many posts I've seen recently talking about how expensive Halloween candy is because we are recording this shortly before Halloween (laughs).
Also, there's retirement worries. Only about 35% of non-retirees feel like they're on track for retirement. 35%, and yet hopefully all of us, a hundred percent, are going to need to retire or be able to retire someday. And then there's rising debt, so credit card balances and delinquencies hit record highs in 2025.
Jon Gay (05:59):
I can't say I'm surprised to hear that, but what you're saying is even people who look comfortable might actually be stretched thin. Why does feeling behind sting so much even if we ourselves are doing okay?
Amy Walls (06:12):
We've tied in our identity. So, money really has become shorthand for “worth,” and falling behind, not meeting those expectations that we've set for ourselves and it's hard to recognize that we've set them, that feels personal.
We want to, as humans avoid loss, we want to avoid pain, and seeing others win triggers pain in the form of losing for ourselves.
Jon Gay (06:39):
Wow. That one blows my mind because I know we've talked in previous episodes about losing money is a stronger emotion than winning money or gaining money, so that others are getting ahead makes us feel like we're losing or not keeping up, that's powerful.
Amy Walls (06:52):
And I find that one really interesting because so often, we talk about – not you and I, but people in general talk about the people who celebrate the wins of others. And people have to really consciously do that because the reality is naturally, we feel pain when others win, if we see it as we're losing.
Then there's comparison fatigue, constant exposure to things overloads our ability to feel grateful. It's kind of like decision fatigue, so that's important. And then there's a stress feedback loop. The more inadequate we feel, the more we spend essentially to try to catch up, and then that catch up, if we're using debt or other things creates more stress.
Jon Gay (07:38):
What you're saying is that comparison drains both your wallet and your wellbeing.
Amy Walls (07:42):
Absolutely.
Jon Gay (07:44):
So, I think you're going to anticipate my next question here: how do we break this cycle and feel, for lack of a better term, financially content again?
Amy Walls (07:52):
So, Jag, let me ask you this; how would you feel if you are feeling the kinds of things we've just talked about and realize I'm comparing myself to others, could you redefine your goals?
Jon Gay (08:02):
Oh, I like that.
Amy Walls (08:04):
Could you measure your progress by your goals? So, those goals being things like debt is down, your savings is up, and how are you feeling from a peace of mind standpoint.
Jon Gay (08:16):
I like that. Okay.
Amy Walls (08:17):
Perhaps limit your triggers, curate your feeds, mute the envy inducing content. Just last week I went through and deleted several people in some of my feeds just because it wasn't for these reasons, but because the way I felt after watching them wasn't positive.
Jon Gay (08:36):
Sure. And I think curating your feed is a much more attainable goal than getting off social media altogether.(Laughs)
Amy Walls (08:44):
I think that's right in this day and age. This ties to setting your own goals, but set your version of “enough.” Define that your version of enough doesn't have to be what other people say is enough. You're in different places, different situations, write down what comfort, flexibility, and fun mean to you.
Another option, celebrate quiet wins; paying the bills easily or maybe it's the stress of your wife when she pays the bills, skipping lifestyle creep. This is one that I hear from clients. They love when we've talked about try to maintain your lifestyle at the same level. Obviously, we adjust for inflation but as you have these salary increases, if you're behind, those need to go to savings.
And our biggest culprit is, I got a pay raise, my lifestyle can go up. Or I made this choice and that led to a domino of other choices or will lead that cause lifestyle creep to happen. If you can avoid that and the money goes to savings investments, that's real wealth.
The last one I'd say is stay curious rather than competitive. I am a highly competitive person, highly competitive, but when it comes to others, I'm also very curious. So, learn from others without turning what they're doing and you are doing into a race.
Jon Gay (10:06):
Amy, we have talked in more episodes than I could count about the psychology, behavioral finance, having a goal to help you set your retirement and having that motivation. What you're talking about here is just a mindset which is so key. You've talked about practical, doable steps here and a healthier way to look at money and I love it. As we wrap up, what are the key takeaways?
Amy Walls (10:25):
First, remember that what you see online is a highlight reel (R-E-E-L not R-E-A-L).
Jon Gay (10:30):
(Laughs) I like that.
Amy Walls (10:32):
Comparison is instinctive, but it rarely helps us, so try to eliminate it. Maybe there's a series of questions that you have to train yourself to ask in the moment of comparison. Real financial wellbeing is about control and clarity, not appearances. And then focus on you and your own plan. When you do that, that's where confidence really grows in your financial situation, and I think other areas.
Jon Gay (11:00):
Absolutely. I really enjoy talking to you about this stuff Amy. And if this conversation helps you listening, it helps you quiet that everyone has more voice in your head, then you might want to share this episode with somebody that you know. And in the meantime, if you want to reach out to Amy directly at Thimbleberry Financial, what are the best ways to find you?
Amy Walls (11:16):
Yeah, they can find us online at thimbleberryfinancial.com or by giving us a call at (503) 610-6510.
[Music Playing]
Jon Gay (11:25):
Awesome. Good stuff, Amy. We'll talk in a couple weeks.
Amy Walls (11:28):
Sounds great, Jag. Thanks.
Voiceover (11:30):
Securities offered through registered representatives of Cambridge Investment Research, Inc., a broker, dealer, member of FINRA, SIPC. Advisory services through Cambridge Investment Research Advisors, Inc., a registered investment advisor.
Cambridge and Thimbleberry Financial are not affiliated. Discussions in this show should not be construed as specific recommendations or investment advice. Always consult with your investment professional before making important investment decisions.
Securities offered through registered representatives of Cambridge Investment Research Inc., a broker, dealer, member FINRA, SIPC. Advisory services through Cambridge Investment Research Advisors, Inc, a registered investment advisor. Cambridge and Thimbleberry Financial are not affiliated.